Pet Peeve #10~ What is my title in the relationship?

Hello Dawnettes.



As I write this particular blog, I still am contemplating whether or not to address this subject publicly. It's almost annoying at this point. I won't lie, I think there is a deep-rooted chip on my shoulder. I've struggled so long with my sexuality that once I decided to not "hide" in the shadows anymore, I don't tolerate not showing or presenting who I am to anyone.



With that being said, I understand the flip side. I know not everyone will celebrate who I am and what that truly means. I understand that hetros may even see it as I'm shoving my "lifestyle" down their throat. Blah, blah, blah...



That is farthest from the truth. I wish I didn't to explain myself! I hope that my "significant" other doesn't feel awkward (at this point in our relationship) to whether she will introduce me as her "girlfriend" or partner. And let's not even dissect what hetero's usually take as a "girlfriend" title.

First of all, if you know your friend well, you pretty much know she is gay. There is no discriminating or ill will feelings towards one another. Otherwise, you wouldn't be friends. You also realize your friend is in a loving, healthy relationship or least trying to build one.

Professionally, I will give a little leeway. Even I wouldn't go for the jugular doing the first few weeks at a new job. However, I'm not going to hide it either. Especially when I'm beaming about my kids, the first person I will highlight is my partner. If I've been at the job for a while, you pretty much know who I am. Let's no beat around the bush. Grown people here. Again, not putting it in anyone's face, but I'm not avoiding speaking about it.

Second of all, if you're "dating" it's clear that you're not just meeting up as friends. YOUR DATING. Again, annoying to have to break it down. The year is 2018 for goodness sake. It may not be anyone's business. But being gay is not what defines me, it's just a part of who I am.



Which brings me to my pet peeve...


This is for my LGTBQ, friends, and family...


If you have issues about how you're going to address me, then don't.


Seriously.


Just give them my name and let the conversation go where it wants to go. At some point, I will for whatever reason state who I am and how proud of the fact I can say it in mixed company. Again, if you know me, you know this will be a factor. It will be subtle. I won't hold up a sign that says I'm gay. The flavor of my language and the subject matter we will be discussing will make it known.


If this is something you aren't comfortable with, then we don't need to be friends. Period. I pick and choose who I want to be around because I am very open and accepting of others. I wish for that in return. In fact, that's non-negotiable. Life is too short. I don't want that type of energy around me frankly. My circle is tiny. Micro.


I'm going to wrap this up by saying...

I'm in a good space. Every day isn't a party filled with flowers and rainbows. However, I like the reflection looking back at me. I mean, it took me a long time to like her. Love her flaws and insecurities.
I have a special Lady {Ms. A} in my life that reminds me every single day "Don't do it for me, do it for yourself. Be happy with your progression and where you are in your life".
As long as I have that kind of love and reassurance, I can do anything. To have someone that doesn't judge me and wholeheartedly supports me is priceless.
These are sediments that frankly my friends, can resonate with everyone. Gay or not.

Be well...

D.

Music that fueled me during this soap box- Me'Shell NdegeOcello- Soul Searching (From the original soundtrack Higher Learning
*I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THIS SONG