Pet Peeve #10~ What is my title in the relationship?

Hello Dawnettes.



As I write this particular blog, I still am contemplating whether or not to address this subject publicly. It's almost annoying at this point. I won't lie, I think there is a deep-rooted chip on my shoulder. I've struggled so long with my sexuality that once I decided to not "hide" in the shadows anymore, I don't tolerate not showing or presenting who I am to anyone.



With that being said, I understand the flip side. I know not everyone will celebrate who I am and what that truly means. I understand that hetros may even see it as I'm shoving my "lifestyle" down their throat. Blah, blah, blah...



That is farthest from the truth. I wish I didn't to explain myself! I hope that my "significant" other doesn't feel awkward (at this point in our relationship) to whether she will introduce me as her "girlfriend" or partner. And let's not even dissect what hetero's usually take as a "girlfriend" title.

First of all, if you know your friend well, you pretty much know she is gay. There is no discriminating or ill will feelings towards one another. Otherwise, you wouldn't be friends. You also realize your friend is in a loving, healthy relationship or least trying to build one.

Professionally, I will give a little leeway. Even I wouldn't go for the jugular doing the first few weeks at a new job. However, I'm not going to hide it either. Especially when I'm beaming about my kids, the first person I will highlight is my partner. If I've been at the job for a while, you pretty much know who I am. Let's no beat around the bush. Grown people here. Again, not putting it in anyone's face, but I'm not avoiding speaking about it.

Second of all, if you're "dating" it's clear that you're not just meeting up as friends. YOUR DATING. Again, annoying to have to break it down. The year is 2018 for goodness sake. It may not be anyone's business. But being gay is not what defines me, it's just a part of who I am.



Which brings me to my pet peeve...


This is for my LGTBQ, friends, and family...


If you have issues about how you're going to address me, then don't.


Seriously.


Just give them my name and let the conversation go where it wants to go. At some point, I will for whatever reason state who I am and how proud of the fact I can say it in mixed company. Again, if you know me, you know this will be a factor. It will be subtle. I won't hold up a sign that says I'm gay. The flavor of my language and the subject matter we will be discussing will make it known.


If this is something you aren't comfortable with, then we don't need to be friends. Period. I pick and choose who I want to be around because I am very open and accepting of others. I wish for that in return. In fact, that's non-negotiable. Life is too short. I don't want that type of energy around me frankly. My circle is tiny. Micro.


I'm going to wrap this up by saying...

I'm in a good space. Every day isn't a party filled with flowers and rainbows. However, I like the reflection looking back at me. I mean, it took me a long time to like her. Love her flaws and insecurities.
I have a special Lady {Ms. A} in my life that reminds me every single day "Don't do it for me, do it for yourself. Be happy with your progression and where you are in your life".
As long as I have that kind of love and reassurance, I can do anything. To have someone that doesn't judge me and wholeheartedly supports me is priceless.
These are sediments that frankly my friends, can resonate with everyone. Gay or not.

Be well...

D.

Music that fueled me during this soap box- Me'Shell NdegeOcello- Soul Searching (From the original soundtrack Higher Learning
*I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THIS SONG

Moving on, Leaving Toxicity Behind, & New Years Resolutions! Again???

Hey Dawnettes,



As the year draws to a close, we all reflect on what the past year has brought us. Examples made include but not limited to:

Quitting a much-hated job, saying goodbye to people we've lost{whether it's a friend or a family member} or ending a relationship with your significant other.
Which brings me to the subject of this blog.


Moving on is hard. It's not something that's instantaneous. It's gradual demise of the relationship once it reaches a point of no return. Two people come together and then for reasons (if both parties have had an honest conversation with themselves) have to face their responsibilities in what happened over the course of the relationship. Break-ups once they crash and burn, have a way of either making you take a mental note of what you want in the future with someone else or live happily single for the rest of your days.

However you choose to move forward, please consider some time to be comfortable with being alone and give yourself time to grieve the loss of the relationship. And let's be clear. Your timetable may not be reflective of anyone else's schedule of healing and moving on. Some people heal quicker than others. Especially if you were in a relationship and that only one person had been present mind, body, and soul.


Leaving toxicity behind. I've made it one of my favorite hashtags. You can apply this statement to every facet of your life. From bad jobs to interacting with people who you don't care for, but are forced to be connected to. Family members that seem to have the best of intentions, but are secretly plotting against you. Toxicity seeps in and erodes from within.

You look up one day and realize, "Have I been sleeping this whole time with my eyes wide shut?" Removing toxicity clears a pathway for becoming healthy and moving in a positive direction. Allow the single life to get to know you. Let it gently blanket over you and keep you balanced. Yes, that's the Libra in me talking. Haha. But seriously, life is too short to be unhappy and unstable. To romanticize wanting to hang on to something or someone that has made it clear you're not needed, or they don't want you in their life. Harsh, hurtful truths.


Now we move onto my final topic. New Years Resolution.

Look.

We all make resolutions. New year, new me. Weight loss goals. Relationship goals. Health, wealth and whatever.

I equate New Year's resolutions to promises. We try put our best foot forward. We make every effort to be better than last year. We genuinely have good intentions. But have we really put in the work? Have we been truthful with ourselves and our limitations? Are we really on the path of enlightenment and change or is it all BS? Following a trend that isn't what we are about.

Again, change is unavoidable. Life is ever changing. Some people fear change. Fear can be a driving force if you let it. It grapples and takes hold in every decision you make. Which ( in my opinion) is never a positive thing. Some people welcome change. Change is good. It shakes things up, and it forces you to face certain truths.



This is what I promise or want to resolve:


*Procrastination-This means giving myself realistic goals that I can meet with confidence.

* Relationship with my friends- Reaching out more and just checking up on them. I mean really checking up and being genuine. I want to know what's going on and plan meet-ups.

*Financial-I know what I need to do. No need to put myself on blast here!!😏

*Relationship with a significant other- Learn from the previous and leave the bags at the door. Walk into a new situation with no expectations. Be a better life partner by having my own goals and a life outside of the relationship.


I will end on this note.

Life is fluid and what you make of it. Surround yourself with like-minded people. Make realistic goals for yourself. And for goodness sakes, take time to enjoy your life. You only have one, and then it's gone.





Be well...



D.


                                      Happy New Year!!!

                                      

           
                                         What I was listening to while writing this blog:
                                         The Internet~ Something's Missing & SWV - Use your Heart
                                         *I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THIS SONG

           

                                               Holidays, Traditions, and Goals for 2018

Ahhhh...It's that time of the year.

Most companies call this the last quarter before taxes are due in January. To see where their profits are. Do they need to clean house before or after the holidays or lovingly give bonuses? ( Which I think most companies have done away with because they don't invest in their employees anymore.)

Most people from all types of religions and pagan based faith are celebrating the holidays from their perspective versions of Christmas, Hanukkah and the Winter Solstice.

What I don't understand is the lack of respect. I mean as people have  become "woke" they suddenly realize that what they believed in is now a lie and can no longer participate. Those who have continued tradition, press upon those that if they don't celebrate they will lose out in the end. Those who don't believe in anything, continue to not be phased. Although, if asked will certainly give their viewpoint on the grounds of science and common sense.

I'm not going to bore you will a long stretched out story. I will keep it simple. I was raised in Catholicism and denounced it after a brief encounter at my Grandmother's Baptist church. I still celebrated Christmas because it brought joy and my family together. The real family gathering where you know which pie to not eat, but still thank Aunt Creatta for making it. Where the kids were outside waiting to eat, while the grow-ups are playing cards and cussing each other out. Sitting in flowered color chairs and small drinks with brown liquid give courage to my Uncles at the table. "Don't come to this table if you ain't ready to play!" While my Aunts are drinking in the living room, eying each other, while my Grandmother was in the kitchen making sure no one started eating before saying grace.
Everyone has a different story. A different family that may not have the same experience as my own but yet can relate to what I'm talking about. Different countries around the world celebrate the holiday season with lights and traditions that are deeply rooted and go back as far as the 5th Century.

Respect.

The respect I'm trying to convey is even if you don't believe in tradition, Christmas, Winter Solstice, etc...don't ruin it for everybody else. There is something magical and wonderous when you see a child's eyes light up when they see a  Christmas tree lit up. The smells in the malls and the smell in my own kitchen from cooking a very fattening feast. (Ask my oldest adult son!)If you respect mine, I will respect yours. In this climate we are living in, we are forgetting the very fundamentals of what the season was always supposed to mean. The one time of the year when we act a little nicer. A little kinder. Give a little more of ourselves and connect with those we haven't seen in ages. Grieve together for those they are no longer living among us. I won't shame or condemn your holiday practices and expect you to do the same for me. If you want to "enlighten" me there is a simple way to do it. AFTER THE HOLIDAYS!!! If you are compelled to have a discussion, let's reconvene next year. In a non-threatening and healthy discussion. Not while I'm eating my Mama's yams. Beat it!

That's my two cents. I will try to release one more blog post before the end of December. Planning and trying to make sure I start the New Year off on the right foot.

Thank you for following my journey thus far and there is more in store.

Be well...

D.


                                        Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanzaa
                                                              Happy Winter Solstice
                                                
                     Click to listen to:Charlie Brown Christmas
                               
                                 Happy Holidays Everyone!

Etiquette and just plain manners~ It's all about energy

Recently I was reminded about etiquette. Phone, text, or just simply being aware that I'm living in a different time. When it comes to greeting someone when reaching out to have a conversation, I open with a good morning, good afternoon, or how about hello? Yes. I lived in a time where when you walked up to someone or reached out to them via telephone, you opened with a greeting or salutations at the very least. Hi, hello, good day, good morning? You get the jest. Am I getting through? Okay, let's move on.
Nowadays, it's as if simple manners have flown the coop. People go for the jugular. Hey you busy? Hey, I have a quick question? It's almost as if people don't care about waiting until you respond. Maybe I don't feel like talking right now. I have issues going on of my own. I just can't take on your energy or drama at this time. But at least with a greeting you have a chance to say, "Hey good morning to you too. I'm really not in a good space. Can we continue this later?" Naw, people just go right on in and start with whatever is going on with them.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a great listener. I love exchanging ideas, sharing memories, laughing at jokes or calmly being in the moment so you can vent. Oh yeah, I'm that lady. I welcome you with open arms. To heal your wounds, dry your tears, or just be your personal cheerleader.

However, I get full too. I get depressed and overwhelmed with my own drama. My reaction? I retreat. I go underground. I take a day to not speak. Well I try to. But somehow I'm sucked in and I want to be that shoulder to cry on. Because let's face it. I'm sure there were days my friends or family didn't want to take on my energy. And yet they did because they loved me and genuinely cared.

All I'm saying is, give me a greeting and let me tell you if I'm in a space where I can be beneficial. Otherwise, I will put you on what my Daddy calls "the do not call list" And trust me, you don't get removed quickly.

On to a more uplifting and positive mode, I believe on my last blog posting I shared a snippet of my dear friend's current project. Well Fam, she has just given me the exclusive to showcase her newest creation.

Please take a moment and visit her website and discover what I'd like to call "The Morasco Perspective!" Check it out Fam...

And as always...

Be well.

D.

New cover reveal!!!!!!!

                          Currently on repeat... RIP Michael

Music & Books~ A journey into the soul of Darlene B. the Author

     


                                                            

      Music has always been a gateway for me to open up and take in every note. It's as if I was at the engineering board, orchestrating every note along with the artist or producer. Every syllable that vibrates over a beat or a melody, seems captures my attention and propels me into another orbit. Not just another world. Another galaxy.

From a young age, I've been exposed to all types music genres. From Country to R&B. Classical to Punk Rock. From Jazz to Contemporary. If it had a label and a hole in the middle ( for you youngins' I grew up with albums!) it was in my collection. I long for a record player. I think I will treat myself this Christmas!

Once everything started to go digital, it seemed like music was becoming less authentic. Not as rich and inviting as it once was. And yet, there on the horizon an abundance of new artists emerged and suddenly I got the pleasure of my favorite artist dropping a new collection of music for all of us to enjoy. Music can break racial barriers, teach the unteachable and bring people together that wouldn't normally even look at each other on the street. 

As I became a Mother, I shared my love for music with my children. Even now, their taste differs from their peers. Of course, they like some of the current "music". However, they know the history of certain genres and appreciate the previous generation's contributions to the music industry. Every now and again, my middle son will hear a song and text me. "Hey Ma, have you heard this?" My oldest will share a past moment in music he knows I will enjoy. The youngest of the siblings, my daughter just enjoys my collection and wants to mimic it somehow. I've told her this collection took years. My collection was put on my iPod which was stolen recently. It broke my heart to the point it's still difficult to talk about. They didn't just take a small device to sell in a pawn shop or on Instagram, they took my history and joy of adding to my library of memories that filled my ears with peace of mind and serenity. 

I will recover. I don't have a choice. Writing has the same effect on me. Reading and writing give me genuine satisfaction. I can deflect and become engrossed in my current project or the latest Stephen King novel.  I've never needed an escape from the real world full of despair, heartbreak, wonder, mystery, fear and a whole crop of emotions and events. Book and writing contain the same elements, just in a controlled environment. You can stop (if you can) whenever you want. Start when you want. There isn't a set timetable and yet the eagerness to write or read always gnaws at me. 

After a major setback, I can confidently say I'm on the mend. Thankfully and gratefully. 

As part of my comeback, I will introduce new projects from my close friends and start to carve out the pathway to re-energizing my projects and bring my characters back to life.

This week's feature is by my good friend Diane Morasco. Please take a moment to check out her website and explore her past and current projects. You won't be disappointed. 


Here is an example of her work...

Please click on the link below:

The lovely & talented Ms. Diane Morasco

October

My current obsession...Syd

Interview with Van Johnson on the Breakfast club

Levels and Rules to being a Friend

Hello, Dawnettes!

Today I'm going to talk a little bit about friendships and what it means to me.

Remember this is my blog and life according to my experience. Catch this.

So, I recently ( in the few months) reconnected with my childhood friend. Whom I love dearly. We share a mutual childhood friend. Of whom I feel like I've chased her friendship my whole life.

Here is my definition of friends and how to act accordingly...while listening to Friends by Whodini ( if you don't know who that is, go to Youtube or click the video below (insert video when posting*)

Ride or die- Whether its 2 pm or 2 am they have your back

Club Friend- Brunch hang out, social friends

Network- Professional won't embarrass you in public

Co-workers- could lead to friend outside of work but not really

And Friends who you thought were but they clearly are not-

I say all of that to say this. You get what you give. Sometimes it's not how much time and effort you put into the relationship but how that is received. People have boundaries and sometimes your load is too much for them to carry. It doesn't make you a bad person. Some people need drama to fulfill their lives. Others just really need an ear and shoulder. Handle your friends according to how they perceive you. If you feel like you need to have a one on one and have an honest conversation to clear the air? Then do that. If you feel your words will be wasted and fall on deafs ears, then move the fuck on.
Believe me, if you have a ride or die friend who does deeply care about you they will only want what's best for you. Invest in those relationships. Nurture and appreciate them. Life is too short to play dumb and chase after people who don't want you in their lives.

Love ya.

Be well...
D

It's My Story and I'm sticking to it!

My Interpretation of the world around me and a slight update on me personally.


Hello, Fam! I trust all is well. I have decided that when I post any blogs in the future, it will begin with a positive greeting.

With that being said, this blog post will be going in a little bit of a different direction.

Over the past three months since stepping away from blogging, writing, or generally wanting to see anything I've written that I wanted to share there has been an awakening. Today I was actually taking a nap and it came to me. All of this could be a waste of time.
Sure, I love to express my opinion where I see fit. I still feel in my heart that I have so much to share with my audience. And yes, I still love to write. However, does what I do matter? Does anyone really care what I think or feel? Could it be I'm a bit arrogant in thinking "hey someone will like what I have to say?" The resounding answer is maybe.
I do believe that someone does care on some level. That the content I put out may be enjoyable to a degree. I never want to offend or push a fan away because what I have to say isn't relevant content.
But I do think I matter.

That's the whole point. People want to be heard. In their personal relationships (Friendship, spouse,etc.) workplace or getting a cup of coffee. I've recently become a huge fan of Penn Jillette. He is a renowned Magician, Comedian, Inventor, Actor and an Author.( He is also an Atheist but we will visit that in another blog.)I have found his views of different subjects we face every day to be a breath of fresh air. He has successfully been added to people I will meet eventually in my lifetime. Yes, folks, there is a list. I get it. He has shown me that even if there is one person that shares my view it doesn't matter. It matters that I made a difference.

I write because it makes me feel better. It's not a form of therapy. I just like sharing my thoughts with complete strangers. Who will at the end of the day have their own opinions about what I have to say. It could be negative or positive. Either way, they will have had to read it to even feel some type of way. My projects are presented in the same way. I write because I feel better knowing that I have created characters that dance inside my head and want to be seen and heard. Characters that could be relatable. I've always wanted to feel as if I met these individuals, I could have a conversation and maybe learn something along the way.

I've also decided that I will commit to blogging every two weeks. They won't be as long as this one. But never too short where I won't be complete in my thoughts and feelings.

Thank you for being on this journey with me and I hope you stay tuned for upcoming content and other fun stuff.

And a special thank you to Diane...

Be well...

D.

Happy New Year Fam!

Welcome to 2017. I can honestly say 2016 was full of ups and downs. There are three points I'm going to hit on this post. So sit back, drink of cup of tea and read on...

First, let's address the celebrities that have left us. It started with Natalie Cole and ended with William Christopher. For those of you who don't know who Mr. Christopher is. He played as the Catholic Priest on the series M*A*S*H. He passed away on December 31st. 2016 took so many people who touched us musically, politically, and literary-wise. R.I.P. to all of these talented individuals. You will be missed.

Next up, unfinished goals. I can't begin to tell you how much of a disappoint I felt and experienced. I can tell you this much... It won't happen again this year.
See, as I get older I've learned two things. Patience and humility. I don't believe I will ever be too successful where I won't appreciate everything I have in my life and people I surround myself with. There are so many things I have yet to do, I don't take life for granted. As the saying goes, "Tomorrow is not promised to you." I plan on taking full advantage of every opportunity that presents itself. It has to beneficial for the person believing in me as well as it is helpful for my career.

Lastly, my second installment of the Vampyir Series. It was a labor of love. I have a fantastic editor. I will be posting her link on this blog. Her services are amazing and she is irreplaceable. My book would not have been completed if it wasn't for this wonderful woman. Currently, I'm trying to complete the cover. I promise you that the next installment, the cover will be completed before the novel. The simplest task has been the hardest to get done. With all the new goals I have set forth, I hope and surrender to the universe that my career will do well this year.

There are three things I don't discuss on a social platform. Politics, Religion or my personal relationship. Here on my blog, there may come a time where I might express my feelings on upcoming President or I may expose some news that is very personal to me. Whatever I have to say, I hope the takeaway is, I've learned something about this human being and I understand where she is coming from. You may not agree with my views, but I promise to always strive to stay positive and uplifting. We have enough challenges and negativity in this world. I will try my best to not contribute to the madness.

Cheers to each and every one of you. May you have a prosperous and fulfilling 2017!

Be well...

D.

                                                                 Just touching base...


Hello Dawnettes,

A few things have transpired since we last chatted. I went to Washington, DC for a panel discussion conducted by Sunfire Talent and to celebrate Pride weekend. The weekend was too short but I was anxious to get back to finish three current projects, find an editor, and plan out my Vampyir Ball.

Let me be the first to say that wearing too many hats can wear a mind and body down. I was speaking to a friend recently, and she said it's better to be busy than to not be busy at all. This may be true. However, because I'm a writer I have to be careful in everything I do. Including doing rushed work and letting other projects fall to the waste side because I don't have enough time to complete them. Being busy is one thing, overwhelming yourself is quite another.

As I reflect on when I started writing this blog, I am starting to get a handle on what I need to accomplish. What I can't finish,  I will try my best to tie up the next day. I need help on my time management. I have to start saying no to things that I know I can't complete.

In saying that, I need to be consistent. The ability to keep my word and complete a task. I have three notebooks for this. Not to mention other notebooks for my written work and the completion of my three novels yet to be published.

I will get it done. And sit back and breathe a sigh of relief.

I'm still gathering all of the necessary details for my ball. I want this event to bring all walks of life. It's a Vampire themed masquerade ball. My party with a purpose.

If you have a moment and know someone who would like to help sponsor my event, just click on the link below. There is also a link if you wish to just give a donation to one of the organizations.

Thank you in advance. Get ready to party in October. It's going to be epic.

Be well...

D.

Sponsor My Event

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

                                                                   Is this for real??

When I read this a year from now, I hope and pray that things will have improved. I hope that we will be one step closer to having security that detects maniacs from coming in anywhere that we could become victims. I hope that this world realizes we have differences, but we can co-exist without killing each. I hope people who have religious beliefs, start to promote more love and less hatred.

I hope.

*On June 12th, a man walked into The Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida and killed 49 people and injured 53 other. He was subsequently shot to death when officers exchanged fire.

The reality will not be as rosy. I know this. I've been in mourning for people all day that I didn't know personally and somehow could feel empathy because it "could" have been someone I loved.
It could have been me.
As the details spill out into the media and we learn who the person was that killed 50 people and injured 52 others, I can't help but wonder did he really hate us that much?  I read on a Youtube video  in the comments that on "other" social media platforms he is being celebrated and will be welcomed into heaven for his "good deeds."

I don't know what religion says that killing human beings are justifiable. Yes, I understand there are extremists. These extremists are in any religion and in any ethnic group. That's not what I believe this was.

He was a fearful human being. His fear of not understanding, to not be tolerant, of not valuing life. Even his own. He was described as mentally disturbed, a wife-beater, and a person who claimed to be in "connection" with a Terrorist group. My final estimation, he was a sick individual.

As I write this, my heart is heavy. The tears come easy because it takes so much for some of us to live in our truth. Unashamed and uninhibited. And yet, we are targeted, scrutinized, belittled, and frankly downright disrespected for simply wanting to live our lives our way. We don't infringe our beliefs on anyone. We just want to eat, love, live, grow old, and work. Basically, live our lives without living in fear. This is a beautiful world. A world we are filling with toxic fumes and pesticides. A world that gives us life every day and we take it for granted. I've ranted enough.

As the day went on, there were videos of solidarity and comfort from around the world. From NYC to Europe and back. It was a beautiful sight to behold.

I will use my platform to spread positivity, encourage others to be happy in their skin, and to showcase other's talents. Networking is one of the keys to success. We have to support each. Build a bridge for one another. We can stand alone on the island, but who wants to?

I want everyone who reads this to call someone you've been mad at and just check on them. Repair the broken bridges you made with people ( if they still want to talk to you.) And say a prayer for those who have come and gone in your life.

Tomorrow isn't promised. Live, laugh, and be the best human being you can be.

Be well...

D.

It's Been A Long Time...

Portland, Oregon during Feb 2016.

Good morning Dawnettes and everyone else!

Today is Monday May 15th, 2016. 

I have to admit, there has been quite a few changes and shifts since we last spoke. I moved from Los Angeles, CA to Seattle, Washington. The plans I had for this coming year have not come to fruition. Searching for a peace of mind in a chaotic world. 

The jest of it is boys and girls, is that I've been off track. Being brutally honest with you is my way of coming to some truths and a reality check. With that being said, the tears have stopped and I have brushed my shoulders off. As I write these words I have often wondered is anyone else going through the same setbacks this year? Are people not fulfilling their New Year's promises? Mind you, I always start out with great enthusiasm. My work ethic, my goals, and where I want my career to go are always the base of my encouragement speech every morning. And yet, here I am wondering why haven't I achieved what I wanted to accomplish by now? 

So, I took some advice from a few friends of mine. Took a minute away and now I'm trying to pick up the pieces. 

I will make a few appearances this year and be more vocal on my blog. I hope I can engage my audience with all that I have to offer. I have a new website AND a newsletter. All the links will be provided on each blog I put out. 

The big news is that I'm here. Still. Fighting to survive and let you into my world. I want to personally thank each and everyone who reads my words. Buys my book. Visits my website. Enjoys my newsletters. Anything or any place that you see me, I hope I leave you with positive energy and food for thought. 

Please take a moment to reflect on your own lives and if you need to make the necessary changes, do be afraid. Don't let time get away. You will look up and see that life has passed you by. Never measure your success by someone's else. Instead let it be a beacon of moving forward in your own life. At your own pace. Not everyone is going to understand or probably even care. But for the few you do reach... trust me friends it's worth all that you sacrifice to become who you are destined to be.

As always,

Be well...

D.